Failure.

I feel like so many people failed me. So many. Why couldn’t they see me. Why couldn’t any of them just see I was being abused at home. I was hurting. I was a child. My behavior wasn’t normal to be just a child. I was fighting , spitting on other kids, ditching school. Nobody helped. Nobody reached out. I used to beg teachers to not call home just so I wouldn’t be beat. And they would call home anyway and ask my mom not to beat me???? Fuck them. Fuck them all. Fucking idiots. They’re all dumb. If I were them, so many kids would be saved. They would feel safe. I’m resign a book that is teaching me about identifying behavior and how it correlates to childhood experiences. And it’s just insane how obvious I was going through something at home. How did nobody know? My family ? My friends ? Nobody?

Is there any benefit to living a virtuous life?

Social media makes my head hurt, I often see good things happen to people that have treated others terribly. And I get angry. “Why do they deserve good things to happen to them!” I scream. Forgetting that I’ve done terrible things to people too. And I’m sure people have looked at my life and thought the same thing. It’s always about money for me. Always has been my entire life. Why did my mom get to take all my birthday and Christmas and social security and child support money and spend it on herself? Why did classmates get to steal my game consoles and enjoy it ? Fast forward and why do people get to loot during riots and enjoy what they’ve stolen? Why do people get to scam a ppp loan and clear themselves out of debt and become financially free ? Why do people get to sell drugs and live luxurious lifestyles ?

Is there any benefit to living a virtuous life beside the ego in ones self to say I’m doing things the “right” way? If I don’t know what type of life lead someone to doing nefarious things then I can’t really judge them for doing said actions correct ? Is it the fact that good people can come from bad situations that creates an incompromissable law , that bad people coming from bad situations don’t get to benefit from in the same way? Does Heaven solve all of these problems ? Does everyone get to go? Or is there really a method to all this madness ?

Is there any benefit to living a virtuous life?
Cause I can see the clear benefit of doing things for ones self. But I struggle in seeing the benefit of doing things for the sake of not harming someone else if it gets you further ahead. Besides the theory of Karma of course. Which makes no sense because things always happen to people regardless of living virtuously or not ! So I guess I just don’t really understand.

Struggling here.

The Truth.

Lol sorry in advance, but a part of me just feels like being truthful today.

We are nothing but really smart variations of apes.

That’s it.

Everything we’ve created , are merely manifestations of thoughts and creations. I don’t know why we have a higher level of consciousness than every other mammal or living being on this planet. I don’t even know if we do. All I know is that we are alive , and aware of being alive.

Your job , your beliefs , your family , your entire life , was either predetermined and it doesn’t matter what you do because it was going to happen anyway , or you have choices much like a fish in a bowl. I don’t know which is true either.

This internet, this social media, is all I lie. In my profile picture I looked like that for a split second in a trillion second existence. Everything I post is calculated , so there’s little room for mistakes. I never show the bad times because people will lie and pretend they don’t go through the same thing, because we are so worried about each other’s opinion. Why? Maybe it’s because we are one another. Maybe it’s because there is no separation. Maybe it’s because we spend our entire lives trying to live an individual life , instead of coming together as one sentient life form. Maybe that’s why we believe in God. It’s a projection of what we want and desire the most , unconditional togetherness….

But keep scrolling like you didn’t even read this. Keep being a good little smart ape variant. Work your job just like other ape variants told you to. Make your money and support the family you never chose , and the family you did. Use that money to buy things to make you feel accomplished, and come right back here to show it off. Because we care so much about each other’s opinion. Hey , would I be posting about it if I didn’t want people to think I somehow have the answers. I know nothing. I’m just speaking a truth I think to be correct.

Sometimes I sit and stare at my hands and just think, sometimes I sit and stare in the mirror and just think…. what am I , and what is this vessel? Why can I experience , and can anyone else , anything else , hear my cries out for understanding? But nothing talks back besides the voice in my head. It’s either my ego/conscious , God , or the real me. And it won’t be until I die that I find that out.

But for now , I will live. I will Keep being a good little smart ape variant. I will Work my job just like other ape variants told me to. I will Make my money and support the family I never chose , and the family I did. I will Use that money to buy things to make me feel accomplished, and come right back here to show it off. Because I care so much about everyone else’s opinion. Hey , would I be posting about it if I didn’t want people to think I somehow have the answers. And still, I know nothing. I’m just speaking a truth I think to be correct.

Featured

Who are you voting for ?

When the media was first introduced. It was a means of expressing information. It was a means of getting information out to bodies of people , fast and concisely. I am unsure of when , but at some point , the companies that distributed information recognized social pockets of people could be profited off of , by picking and choosing which information to release, and what stance to base the information off of. And after many years went by , one of the biggest expressions of this , is through the republican and democratic parties.

The debate was insignificant. Each of us was blessed with the intelligence to know exactly how it was going to go, and we were not wrong. What I paid more attention to , is what companies posted the information , what clips of the information was posted , and through what streaming service. NBC posted a 4 min video of a 2 hour debate that was highlights. In these highlights it showed Trump interrupting Biden. Fox posts a similarly long clip , of Biden stammering , stuttering , and Those same interrupting clips. On one side Trump looks like a bully. On the other Biden looks like a fool.

How the media portrays these two individuals doesn’t concern me. What does , is how many people are under the comments of both , passionate about who they want to vote for and degrading the other candidate to do so. Is this wrong ? No. But did they ever stop to realize that they are being manipulated? That the information being fed to them is meant to box them into one side or another. That the information being put out is not , and will never be , the actual truth, but just a filtered version of such.

I ask a more important question , do they care ? And just how many people fall into this manipulation. 20%? 40%? 60%? I don’t know. Many people seem to have figured out exactly what I have , and feel absolutely powerless to stop it. That all they can do , is write statuses/blog posts like this. Expressing their frustration and hoping to find solace with one another , watching as the general populous fall into the devious trap set up by those that they have put their trust in.

My moral code does not align with certain lies. Do I lie ? Yes. Do I lie to benefit myself sometimes? Yes. But do I lie to blatantly hurt people ? No. Do I lie to profit off of people ? No. We all lie, but when put in positions where our lies hurt more than just ourselves , but millions or billions of people , many of us wouldn’t be able to.

I won’t vote. I don’t believe that Biden is better than Trump. And I don’t believe that Trump is better than Biden. Do I know every policy ? No. Do I sift through government regulations all day to figure it out ? No. Do I think I should ? No. Because why am I sifting through the documents of a government I can’t trust ? What purpose does it serve me to rack my brain to do so ? So I can vote on a false promise on either side? So I can feel morally right but in actually be voting towards a moral wrong ? I refuse to do so, and refuse to feel bad about it either.

There are people who understand what I’m talking about and those are the people I am speaking to , and speaking on behalf of. There are many people who feel just like me and shouldn’t feel castrated by public opinion to think or do otherwise. I pray that we can reach a time in this country in which deceit , lies , corruption, greed, and hate , are not the foundation of this country, but something that we strive to expunge.

Thank You.

The Journey Begin’s Part II

*If you did not get the chance to read : “The Journey Begins” I would strongly advise you to, in order to understand the topics discussed in this chapter. *

We’ve discussed in the earlier chapter that life exists because of three things. Thinking , feeling, and perspective. And that because of these three things, there are a multitude of people that exist because everyone, thinks, and feels differently based on their background, living environment, etc. which in turn, creates a unique perspective to them. Often times, we categorize people into two groups, someone that does good and is beneficial for humanity , and someone that is bad and negatively impacts society and those around them. And often times, we look at prophets such as Jesus of Nazareth, and how he loved everyone, even his enemies, and wonder how it was possible to love someone that is hurting your mind, body, and spirit. This is where we get into the idea of balance.

Balance is defined as “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.” In this case, That something would be society. and both sides of the scale would be good and bad. The definition of balance also equates to a state of harmony. Yin and Yang for example. Lets say we lived in a society where everything was good and righteous, do you believe it would defeat the purpose of living? what would death become? would it be something freeing, or something bad? Could death exist in a place where everything is good? Lets say the opposite is true, and we lived in a society where everything was bad, what would birth be? a damnation? A form of punishment? would that make death freeing? could something freeing like death , exist in a bad world? The answer is, both sides exist , to make us appreciate and understand the other. Therefore , the people that emulate these characteristics also do the same.

I think that we can all acknowledge that within ourselves there is good and bad. That we struggle between the right and wrong things to do. And in most cases, we end up performing both throughout our lifetimes depending on the situation. Since humans are a reflection of the universe we live in, wouldn’t it make sense that we emulate what the universe already has in place? Human beings that do “bad” shouldn’t be judged, because they are supposed to do bad. We always hear people say, “People that do good, shouldn’t be praised, because they are supposed to do good. People must uphold a good, moral and ethical standard!” Well what about the balance of the world? Shouldn’t people also have negative morals and ethics, to build other strong people? Without challenge, how do we grow and become the people that we admire to be? Bad people fulfill a purpose that none of us want to acknowledge. And because they do, they are something to be loved, and appreciated.

We may not all understand them, but if you’re struggling to, look within yourself. You may have committed an act that really hurt someone else. That they could never see themselves doing, relationaly speaking, you as a cheater in a marriage, is no better than an individual that murdered someone , to the individual that murdered several humans, because you all caused a level of pain that you cant empathize with, or fathom, because you aren’t the one you dealt the pain to. What this does, is allow us to put everyone on the same playing field, and therefore love them the same. Unconditional love doesn’t come in tiers. If you truly want to love everyone, you have to love EVERYONE. And it may be hard to wrap your head around, but it is the truth. Does this mean that we take away jails, and let people run around doing bad things? no. But it does mean that maybe we should change what jail is, and how we rehabilitate people and handle bad deeds as a society. Parallel to good and bad, are what is right and what is wrong. And that will be discussed, in chapter 3.

What is life REALLY all about?

I hear people ask, as I have myself, “What is life all about?”. And I think the most ironic thing about this question is that your life, is answering the question. Life is an experience. That’s something we can all agree on, right? Some would say bad, others would say good, underwhelming, exhilarating, and all things in between and beyond. One thing all humans share, is the ability to experience. We each share a unique experience. Our birth is the creation of a new set of eyes for our higher self to see through. What is this higher self? Our higher self is us. From the atoms that make us up, to the atoms that exist in the Universe, we are one. Everything is alive. Every single piece of matter vibrates. Look up the “Law of Vibration”. Everything moves, everything is alive. There are things our human eye can and cannot see. Because everything is alive it’s important to understand that everything has a unique perspective on life in the universe. Everything also has a unique perspective of death. It is that perspective, that is the experience. We often spend our whole life chasing something that is already in us, something that we already are. We spend time thinking that our way of life is right and just, when everyone exists for a reason. There is no human life, more important than the other. Everyone fulfills a greater purpose. Everyone maintains a balance. When you die. You will understand. You already have understood. But once you are recycled back into life you are given another perspective. Another shot to have a perspective. So enjoy the one you are given now. Don’t be stuck in anguish, or hate, or guilt, for those feelings are void of love. You need to love life. Love the experience. Generate love, and receive it, and things will be better for you. Life is about living. You are what life is right now. The words are tough to find but I hope that this has given people some sort of description and idea.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

Aron Turner – Words So Superb – Youniverse

3 important aspects of the human experience

– Thinking

– Feeling

– Perspective

Thinking is something that every human does, and it works in direct correlation with feeling. Your thoughts can influence how you feel about a situation, and in turn, your feelings can influence how you think about a situation. How and why you think how you do, is a reflection of your brain and how it was constructed at birth , the experiences that shaped how you respond and absolve situations, The perspective you remain in based on the response, and what you gather and learn from this perspective to either add to your plethora of knowledge , or ignore.

Feelings are the physical representation of thought. Feelings and thoughts both derive from the brain, and are related as such. With thoughts being the mental culmination and representation of your life, and your feelings being the physical expression of those same things. The more you are able to control your thoughts , the better you are able to deal with how you feel. You will always feel, that will never change. Feelings are the energy that pushes thoughts. The extreme compulsion and motor that drives the vehicle of perspective, with thoughts being the wheels. Feelings are very powerful, and should be respected as such.

Perspective is a unique energy signature given to every human being at birth. Just like a fresh set of eyes, or lungs, the ability to breath is the ability to see anew. Perspective is built upon a direct result of how you think and feel about any situation, but perspective is not entirely governed by these contingencies. For a change of perspective, much like the road you’re driving your vehicle of thought and feelings on, will alter what kind of wheels, and motor you need to traverse it. Without the perspective of being poor, is it possible to truly understand a perspective of it? no. But by increasing the thought and feelings around the topic, you can get to a point where the perspective can become digestible. As we gain new experiences, both “positive” and “negative” , We are able to add to our perspective , and use our thoughts and feelings to create a way of life based on the singular point of those three entities coming together.

In defining these three things, I hope to show the complexity and diversity that exists among human thought. Each of the topics I’ve described are broken down into further points. Feelings, thoughts, perspectives, break down into brain chemistry, experiences, wants, desires, connections, will, and many other categories. With each small change in any of these factors creates a different human and a different line running along the board of life. And as our lines cross, we share a human experience. One in which we evaluate, we judge, we form an opinion. a perspective, and choose to share, meet people that are like minded, or change people to be more like minded. We create a space in which we are the most comfortable with what we know, even if it’s knowing that we don’t. When you think about life from this scope, matters such as racism, poverty, sickness, death, life, and everything in between, become understandable in reference to how humans react to it, why they react how they do, and how we as a human race have gotten to where we are now. There is a balance to maintain, in which people exist on both sides of the spectrum, and play a role in the scale of life. But that will be discussed in chapter 2.